torek, 22. maj 2007

šta češ…bit če bolje

1.GLUP DAN…
Riiiinnngggg… budilka me zbudi iz sanj…vedno se zrad tega pizdim kak je glupa… ampak danes ravno nasprotno: HVALA BUDILKA!..mela sem grozne sanje…in ble so povod v ta madafaka glup dan!...kumi sem se zvekla čez dan…grozno zaspana in čist ODSOTNA…v šoli se ni zgodilo nič katastrofalnga… stanje se mi je za kocino poboljšalo…a vseeno se je folk čudu zkai sem tak tiho…tut ys sem presenečena glede moje tišine!!...ampak v glavi se mi vrtijo različni filmi, celo dnevno razmišljanje in dvomi me spravljajo v stanje čudnosti =)…
Gužva v jedilnici me je spravla ob pamet…odšla sem brez kosila…dans je pršu fotr…uuuum..ne wem zakai se dans tko glupo počutim…ampk use mi je zlo brez pomena… s fotrom sma se bol mal menla..se to se velikrat dogaja-prevečkrat…ampk useen mi je bedn…vedema se skor ko tujca..nimam mu nič pametnega za povedat…on pa govori le o svojih nastopih!!!..to globoko v meni pušča žalost in nenazadnje zelo BOLI… provociral so me, toliko časa, dokler se nisem stlačla v obleko za valeto… in ko sem vstopila v sobo je bil prvi komentar: »ka se nis mogla v primernejše čevlje oblečt…« obrnla sem se in se šla preoblečt! Faaaak ko da je važn zdej čevL!! Če mi buffali u trenutku pašejo al pa all-starke nima veze..glavna je obleka! Pa kua jim ni jasn!...ko sm v ogledalu zagledala svojo podobo…sem si želela, da nebi obstajala…razvidno je padanje moje samozavesti zadnje čase…kar zelo vpliva na odnose z bližnjimi!...
Diana (ljuba mačehica) se je pofarbala na rdečo-oranžno…oooo madafaka…šokirala je ta naša, bivša blondinka!..je kr vrei..sam useeno… no comment…kje je moja favourite barbie?!!
Ker pa sem bila že tako slabe volje je manjkala (spet) le kocina, da se nebi s starima skregala- pač obdobje čudnosti!!..in ko je fotr odšu u MB sem čutla praznino…čprow je lepo videt, ko se starša objameta…ampak..hm..traja le tri sekunde pa pou…nato pa spet: BOLI…

2. BOJIM SE STAROSTI…
Pa ne bojim se prvih gubic in tega, da me bojo klical babica Dona…ampak zaradi…hm..začnimo na začetku… z babico smo šle k eni tetki na obisk…hodle smo po položnem hribčku…namesto 5 minut…se je zavleklo skoraj 20 minut!!!!...aaaaaa nikol nočm bit tok debela!!! (nisem nesramna, ampk realna)..kak je to grozn…da kumi u hrib vlečeš svojih 100kg (recimo)…zraven glasno sopihaš, da te usi mimoidoči čudno gledajo…mau egoista je u men ja…in to dela slaba volja!!! K je dan tooook prisotnaaa!!!!!!....

3. PRIHAJAJOČA NEVIHTA…

V daljavi se približuje temna sivina…vreme je izraz mojega počutja…slaba volja, zateženost, bolečina- bliža se nevihta!...nuna, ki se je med pletjem sklanjala nad vrtom, se je bila bližala cerkvi in nato zvonila v zvoniku…po ulicah je taka grozovita tišina…kot, da bi svet za trenutek obstal…z babico se tiho, vsaka s svojimi mislimi nekje daleč, vračava proti domu…skrivno pogledujem proti nebu in razmišljam…mogoče je to moja slaba lastnost, da v vsaki stvari iščem znamenje, vendar je to v meni, da primerjam podzavestno…vse skupaj je nekakšno skrito sporočilo…kaj mi hoče nebo povedati?!! Bojim se tega spoznanja in tiho upam, da imam le bujno domišlijo…

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